| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|10:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Walk the Line on dvd | ] |
i have not made a livejournal entry in a disgustingly long time. i guess i just felt like no one other than myself really reads it anyways, so why bother? but then tonight something changed my mind and i decided to just go with it. since i last updated i turned 20, celebrated my first ever year and a half anniversary with someone, received a promotion at my job, and got a new dog. these are just ordinary life events, but they are all important to me in their own ways.
in december i took a trip to buffalo and nearly got arrested at the border for "smuggling goods into canada," and "being dishonest to members of the law." oh man, it was scary yet hilarious at the same time. if i am such a huge threat to this country by attempting to bring back some abercrombie sweaters without claiming them (to avoid paying the extra tax), the canadian police must have no other serious issues to deal with obviously.
as far as college and university go, i am still 100% unsure of what i want to do with my life. i just want to enjoy getting up and going to work each morning, and feel as though i am making a difference in someone else's life, i also want to be able to provide for my family. i'm jumping the gun just a bit, i know, considering i have no family to provide for yet, but i do not want to go to school for years only to feel disatified with the results. kudos to everyone i know that have taken that extra education step that i am so afraid of.
i am still very much in love with cris. he understands me better than i understand myself at times. i never thought i would allow myself to complete let go around someone, but with him that just comes naturally. if i don't hear from him everyday, i'm not right. he's my best friend. we have built this relationship that is so strong and i'm so happy about that. i could wake up with him every morning and still smile. sorry, excuse my gushing.
i have also joined a gym, and go a few times a week with my friend. i was feeling very unattractive and didn't like the way my clothes looked on me, so this was something that i had to do. i haven't noticed a big weight loss yet, but i do feel more energetic and toned. on the down side it is very expensive to be a member at a gym, which i think is very stupid. people are trying to better themselves, which they should not be charged thousands of dollars a year for.
i am sick. i have some sort of a chest infection, and my voice is almost gone. it's very annoying and drains all of the energy right out of me. hopefully it will clear up soon, but i doubt it.
within about a month or so i am planning on getting my first tattoo. i am obsessed with how beautiful they are, and have always wanted one, but could never get up the courage. i'm just going to do it, and that's all there is to it. but this is where i need some help; because i have never had one, i have never had to deal with the maintenance of one. i am looking to get one on my upper back (left shoulder), and i'm curious about how i can shower and whatnot afterwards. i am also very undecided on what to actually get. i think i have finally narrowed it down, but i will show my other choices anyways just for opinion's sake. keep in mind i found alot of these pictures while browsing google, so i am not sure where the majority of them originate from.
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| huge entry. sorry kids :( |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|09:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the BET Awards on tv | ] |
i haven't updated since before i left for cris' cottage a while back, so i have a whole lot to catch up on. first off, i had an incredible 4 days at his cottage with him and his parents. it was located in penetanguishene, which is close to midland and georgian bay. it was so nice to be out of smoggy and disgusting scarborough for a few days. the weather was perfect, but still a bit too cold to go swimming. he took me out in the boat, and we went fishing. we also made fires everynight on the beach, which i loved more than i can express. the actual cottage was adorable and really cozy. his mom always made sure we had more than enough food, and she's a great cook. we bought fireworks and set them off on the beach after having a few drinks. his friend andrew, and his girlfriend amanda, came over a couple of times. we all played monopoly and drank by the water. they were very nice people, which are hard to come by where i live now. cris and i slept in this cute little room in the basement. i love nothing more than falling asleep and waking up next to him. we got really close and shared alot over those 4 days, and i feel like i now know him much better. i love his family, too. they were super great to me, which i appreciate. his uncle told me that he can see the two of us getting married one day ♥. so to sum it all up, i had an amazing time and i can't wait to go again. the cottage life is awesome. pictures now! :)
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i went with gina to get her prom hair and makeup done in the pickering town centre, and because i was feeling daring i.... pierced my nose! it looks so cute and i do not regret doing it in the slightest. it hurt only for a second and my eyes watered, but now i want even more piercings hahaa
my pretty gina before prom ♥
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3 years ago, my best friend meaghan moved to las vegas, and although we kept in touch through email and phoncalls, i only got to see her on the holidays. we were so close in high school, i was never without her. she has just recently moved back to markham to live with her grandfather, and i am so excited. we always have so much fun together. meaghan came over to cris' with me one saturday night. we drank screwdrivers all night and fell asleep around 4AM. i love this girl more than life itself, and i am so glad she's back.
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for our 9 month anniversay, cris and i spent a night at the crowne plaza hotel. it was a beatiful hotel. the room had a balcony with a forest view, 2 double beds, a huge tv and couch, and a nice bathroom. there was an indoor and outdoor pool and suana, but we never got to use either of them :( we ordered room service, and it was ridiculously overpriced, but oh well. it was an experience that i can now say that i've learned from lol
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my days of working in the garden centre are almost up. it's so damn hot outside. standing there for 8 hours, drinking warm water, definetly gets hard to deal with. but it was really fun working with michael and barbara. other than working lots, i've been hanging out with friends and enjoying the summer. i need to get my G2 as soon as possible though. that's my current goal. that, and getting a tattoo... but pictures of what i'm planning on getting will take a while to post so i'll leave that for later. the rest of the pictures are just random ones from the past little while. this has probably been my longest entry to date. if anyone reads all of it, i looooove you. make the most of your summer, dolls.
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| it's been a busy week. |
[May. 24th, 2005|09:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Contender, on tv | ] |
^. big time. i have worked over 8 or more hours, everyday, for the past 5 days, and i still have 2 more shifts left to work before i leave. when i say leave, i'm referring to this weekend, because i'll be going up to cris' cottage with him and his parents for 4 days. i am beyond excited. i've never been to a cottage before, and rarely ever go out of town, so waiting these 2 days is gonna be rough. i want to leave with him right now. ♥ cris came to visit me at work today, for the first time in months. it was totally unexpected and it made my day. since i work outside in a garden centre, there's not really any boss aroundto supervise, so alot of the time i am free to do what i want. i was sitting in the cashir tent doing a crossword, and he came in and yelled "hey!!", which scared the shit right out of me hahaa. he brought hot chocolate for me, and we went across the street to a sports bar on my break to play a game of pool. i love when people just let loose and be spontaneous. aside from that, my day was uneventful :(
this past weekend was May 24, and victoria day, so most people had a day off work/school. i worked all day yesterday and it sucked. but i got paid time and a half, so that's a definite plus. gina came over for a while afterwards, and we picked up robert and sebastian, and then went to bluffer's park to watch some fireworks. i love gina so much. lately we have been spending alot of time together and she's probably the closest thing i have to a best friend right now. she's a great person to be around. we drove around with the guys for hours blasting the girliest music one could imagine, complete with n*sync, bsb, jessica simpson, destiny's child etc., and sang every word outloud. i love being silly and stupid.
that about sums it all up. i have a thousand pictures to post, so i'll put them under the cut. ♥
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| happy mother's day ♥ |
[May. 8th, 2005|10:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | head automatica - please please please | ] |
i recently started working outside in the nofrills garden centre. at first i hated it with a passion, but now it's not so bad i guess. i'm learning more about the differnt types of flowers and how to care for them, which are the main things i need to know, so it's getting better day by day. it's alot if hard work though. i was sunburned after only a few hours outside today. when i get home i feel so sweaty and tired, but at the same time i feel accomplished. the hours are longer, therefore making the pay better, so that is definitely a plus.
on tuesday, it will be my 8 month anniversary with cris ♥ things are going great right now, i'm very happy. unfortunately i can't see him as much during the week now that i work longer hours, but we make up for that lost time by spending the whole weekend together. after work on saturday i go to his house, where we make dinner, watch movies, and then eventually fall asleep. i love nothing more than watching him sleep, and waking up with his arms around me. i really notice a difference when i'm at home and i have to sleep alone. we got tickets to see robert plant on july 6th (the day after his 21st birthday,) with two of his friends. i'm sooo exited! robert plant is practically a god to me. led zeppelin is my all-time favourite band. we have really shitty seats though :(
i finally bought a new digital camera. it's a canon A510, and it's wonderful. i'm really impressed with the quality. at work i go crazy taking dozens of pictures of flowers, most of which i will post soon. i'm anxious to figure out how to use all the settings, but it's really confusing.
the weather was gorgeous today, and it actually felt like summer was here. hopefully this summer will be different than any other. well i'm going to post some pictures now. most of them are of cris and i, so i apologize if they are repetitive hahaa
xo
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| ♥ |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|12:00 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | howie day - collide | ] |
today marks 6 months that i have been with Cris.
lovelovelove |
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| one week until my birthday :) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|02:02 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | stereophonics - maybe tomorrow | ] |
on thursday night, i went to play bingo. i never imagined myself doing that, especially with a group of 18 year old friends. friday morning I GOT MY G1 FINALLY ♥ i'm so excited, and i was shocked that i passed the first time. after that i went to see boogeyman with heather. today i had to work, but after that a bunch of people went over to heather's to watch the grudge.this weekend was 50/50. i hate working both saturday and sunday, and cris was sick so we couldn't hang out, but it was really nice to see my friends so much. it is now 2:00AM and i am sitting here doing next to nothing.
my brother fixed my webcam :) i love taking random little pictures.
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| it's finally february |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|07:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lindsay lohan - over (stfu hahaa) | ] |
In 11 days, I will be 19. Birthdays are pretty much the only decent thing about February, in my opinion. My best friend Caitlin will be turning 19 this month as well, which I'm very excited about. I've known the girl since I came out of the womb, so it's pretty amazing to grow with someone the way I have with her. It's sad that even though she lives in Port Perry, a good hour away from me at least, I still talk to her and trust her more than 95% of my friends that live nearby. My only problem with turning 19 is that I am a huge loser and have wasted so much time with my drivers license that I still do not have one. I am really going to try and get my G1 this week, but even if that happens, it still won't arrive in the mail in time for my birthday :( Valentine's Day is soon as well, but that's not big deal because I'm already aware of the fact that I will probably spend it alone, even though I have a boyfriend. I love him with everything that I am, and he means so much to me, but sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care about things that I find important, i.e. holidays and anniversaries. We've been together almost 5 months now ♥, and it seems to be going pretty smoothly for the most part.
My life is painfully boring. I hope that once I turn 19 I will start to go out more often, and try new things. Working at NoFrills is so lame, but the girls there are awesome, so it's not always horrible. In other news, Robin has a livejournal! I missed him so fucking much. We used to be really close, so it makes me super happy to be talking to him again. I love you Robin, you're awesome :)
Okay now I have some pictures. A few of them a kind of big, so I apologize.
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| 6 days until Christmas |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|09:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | stereophonics - i miss you now | ] |
time has gone by so fast. i can't believe that it is december, and only 6 days from Christmas. i've gone shopping so many times that even the thought of entering a mall makes me queasy. last night i finally finished buying everything i needed though, so now all there is left to do now is wait. my mum's side of the family is coming to our house this year for dinner on Christmas day. i haven't seen them in a long time. meaghan arrives from las vegas on the 28th. i'm so excited to see her! ♥
things with cris worked themselves out. i love him. we talk on the phone everyday, and see each other whenever neither of us has to work. it is such a nice feeling to be in a relationship this time of year. for the past 2 years i was alone on christmas, and now that i'm not it's just something different and special. i loved picking out his presents, and walking over to his house in the morning when it's all snowy and pretty.
i never have the urge to write in my livejournal anymore, and i don't like that. writing used to be such a huge part of me, and now it only seems like i do it when i am angry or upset. if there is anything i should change when starting a new year, it would be to make myself write more often, and keep in touch with friends more frequently.
i miss markham. i miss all of my friends who live there. i haven't seen them since august. wow.
i bought new eyeshadow and liners last night and that makes me so excited! in honour of this occasion, i took pictures with my phone. and since i have nothing better to do, i will post them now. hope everyone is having a great holiday! i know i don't post often or comment lots, but i still read my friends list everyday just to see how you're all doing :)
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| nahmean jeally bean? |
[Dec. 16th, 2004|02:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nancy sinatra - bang bang (my baby shot me down) | ] |
2004 Survey
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2004|03:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | velvet revolver | ] |
i got about 2 inches cut off my hair. and some side bangs.
i look so unhappy.
maybe because i am? |
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| it's over. |
[Nov. 16th, 2004|03:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jonny lang - breakin' me (acoustic) | ] |
2 months of lies.
2 months of being used.
2 months of falling in love, only to have my heart broken again.
i'm not with cris anymore. one week ago today, we 'broke up.' his idea of breaking up is not calling me or answering my calls for days. i saw him last tuesday and everything was fine, or at least i thought it was. i left his house to go to work, and he kissed me, told me he loved me, and said to call him when i got home from work that night. i called when i got home - no answer. the next day i babysat for his sister and he was supposed to come with me, but i couldn't get a hold of him. by thursday i was getting worried so i called a few times, and still no answer. my friend debbie called me on friday and left me a message saying she had seen cris and that she needed to talk to me as soon as possible. my heart stopped. i knew what she was about to tell me. debbie had seen cris with his ex-girlfriend earler that day. i was crying on the phone listening to her tell me about how i was too god for him, and that he wasn't even worth me getting upset. i was crying because i still wanted to be with him, more than anything. i was so good to him, ridiculously good. whenever we went out, i would always offer to pay. i bought him beer and smokes all the time, just because. when he was out of a job, or didn't have bus fair to get around, i would always make sure he had money to get by. i called all the time, even when i was busy, just to tell him i loved him and make him smile. he was always talking about how scared he was that i one day i would leave him, and how he would be so lost without me. lately we had been discussing getting a place together once we both had the money for it. he told me that it didn't matter what kind of place we lived in, as long as he could come home to me he'd be more than happy. all of his friends told me they could see us lasting a long time. but then everything fell apart. i don't know what happened. how can you fall out of love with someone so quickly, and not even have the decency to tell them how you feel? he left me completely in the dark. i'm broken. i'm angry. i miss what we had. i guess it will just take some time for me to come to terms with the fact that he left me for that whore, after so many promises that she meant nothing to him. so many broken promises. i fell in love with a person that never really existed. now i'm alone and i couldn't feel any more stupid. |
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| what is love? |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|01:37 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | system of a down - roulette | ] |
it's been a month and a half with cris. last week he told me he loved me. we were fighting because he made plans with me, and also made plans with his friends, then decided to go out with his friends instead. i wasn't mad, i just felt somewhat unimportant considering he chose his friends when i always try so hard to make him happy. the whole thing was dumb, and while i was walking home alone i thought about how upset i would be if i were to lose him again. when i got home i sent him a text message saying i was sorry for being selfish and i understand that his friends mean a lot to him. to end it i wrote 'i love you.' i'd never said that so him before, even though we had both been talking about love earlier that day. he called me 5 minutes after i sent the message, and as soon as i answered he said, "i love you too, baby." for most people that is nothing special, but for me love is huge. massive. amazing. i have been hurt many times and have waited for so long to finally feel the way that i do right now. it's irreplacable and undescribable, and there is nothing i would trade it for. love changes people, gives them a different outlook on life and something to look forward to. just seeing him for 10 minutes after work can turn a horrible day into a great one. i like having someone to make me feel safe, someone to hold my hand when i cross the street. i like having someone to take care of and do random nice things for, it makes me feel as though i'm making a difference. it's nice to know that i have someone to call when i'm in a bad mood, and by the end of that phone call i will have forgotten what was even bothering me in the first place. i'm sure that no one in their right mind will read this entire post, and that's fine by me. i guess i'm just writing this as sort of a thank you to whatever greater being it is that i believe in, a thank you for acknowledging me after all this time and giving me a taste of the happiness that i've always wanted. i'm in love. i'm loved. that is the only thing that is getting me by right now. |
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| Patience by Guns N' Roses is my favourite song. i think. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2004|02:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Big Wreck - That Song | ] |
cris and i are dating once again. for whatever reason, this time it feels right, like it will actually last and work out. he is acting like a serious boyfriend should, and that makes me grossly happy. we spent the moring together today before he had to work in the afternoon. just simple things like watching him sleep seem so amazing to me. i fell alseep next to him with a smile on my face. ♥ each day i fall a little deeper in love. that is definitely a scary thought, but fuck it, what have i got to lose... aside from my heart and sanity and strength.
i 'dropped out' of school. i figured going back to high school wouldn't be so bad, but after being there for only a couple of weeks i could already tell that it was a bad choice. everyone makes the same surprised face when i say that i dropped out, but i already have all my credits so it's not like i'm doing anything stupid. i worked my ass off to graduate on time last year, so why not take time to myself now and make some extra money?
speaking of that, i need to find a better job. maybe one that's full-time. i'm going to try and get one at the mall so cris and i can see each other more often because that's where he works. hopefully everything will go smoothly and i'll have luck getting hired. it's been almost a year for me at no frills. holy shit. i hate that place so damn much.
i went on my last school field trip ever yesterday. It was to roy thomson hall to watch the toronto symphony orchestra do their warm-ups. i fell asleep at least 4 times. it was downtown, right by the cn tower. it's a pretty building- lots of glass and cool architechture. i took one picture inside.
yep. that's about it. ♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2004|05:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fall out boy | ] |
i got a new computer and it's working great. i love when the internet is super fast like this. but the downfall is that i had to lose all of the music i had downloaded, and all of the pictures i had saved. i'll get over it somehow ;)
i went to the exhibition with my friend roxanne the other night. it rained like crazy all night so to avoid getting wet we ended up sitting in a small corner beside the bar, and drinking a whole lot. the bartendar didn't card me, which was awesome, and these nice guys bought us drinks, so overall i had a good time.
everything else in my life pretty much sucks right now though. cris and i got back together last week, yet again, but not surprisingly he fucked that up only a few days later and broke up with me. i hate admitting that i am in love with him. i know that i can do so much better, and that i don't deserve to be treated like i don't fucking matter. i get this sick but good feeling when i think about how unhappy he will be with her, because i know that he'll be regretting what he did to me. i would have sacrificed my own happiness to please him, and people like that are hard to come by. getting cheated on is a terrible thing to go through, but all this has made me learn a lot about life and my own attitude. no longer will i go out of my way to make someone feel good about themselves. why? because i always end up getting fucked over in the long run. for whatever reason, guys like bitches. that's not who i am, or who i want to be, but maybe it's time to quit being a nice girl. i have a feeling thati would be a lot better off than i am right now.
labour day is this weekend! hopefully someone will have a good party to end the summer. school starts in less than a week. barf. ♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2004|06:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tokyo Rose - right through your teeth | ] |
yea so i haven't updated in 63 years. don't think that's because i'm super busy, in reality the reason couldn't be more opposite. i've mainly just been going to work and occasionally hanging out with friends.
school starts up again soon. i graduated with 32 credits, (30 is the required number in order to get your diploma) and yet i am still going back for another semester. what a genius i am.
yesterday i went to the dentist and got a one day trial cosmetic bonding done to my two front teeth. since i was little i've always had a gap in those teeth, and it's always made me feel really self-conscious. i've always tried to hide in when i smiled in pictures and things like that. so after i got it done i felt great and i was really happy about how it looked. i'm going back to get it put on permanently on the 27th. rock.
HERE IS A PICTURE OF WHAT MY TEETH LOOKED LIKE YESTERDAY:
yep. that about covers it. my life is in serious need of some spice. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 2nd, 2004|09:37 pm] |
| What song... | </td>| Fits your life as it is currently the most?: | Matchbook Romance - My Eyes Burn | | Reminds you to be grateful for the little things?: | Edwin McCain - Alive | | Makes you wanna get up and dance?: | Fat Joe feat. Remy - Lean Back | | Makes you reach for a box of kleenex?: | Cardigans - Couldn't Care Less | | Reminds you of something you've lost?: | Led Zeppelin - Babe I'm Gonna Leave You | | Is the one you secretly like but would NEVER admit?: | Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending | | Reminds you of your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend?: | A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras | | Is the most depressing?: | Kind of Like Spitting - All Else Failed | | Can put you in a horribly depressing mood?: | Alkaline Trio - Sorry About That | | Can put you in a hyperily happy mood?: | Led Zeppelin - Dyer Maker | | Causes your imagination to soar?: | Jimi Hendrix - Angel (acoustic) | | Makes you want things you can never have?: | Lauryn Hill - X-factor | | Inspires you?: | The Doors - The End | | Makes you kinda horny?: | Pink feat. Peaches - Oh My God | | Is your all-time favourite?: | Bon Jovi - Always | | Makes you calm and rather content?: | Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine | | Has personal meaning to you?: | Incubus - I Miss You |
Sing a Song... brought to you by BZOINK!
Get paid to take surveys!
I listen to the most random music. I love it all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|01:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | led zeppelin - tangerine | ] |
my daily horoscope - july 24th, 2004:
You may find that an emotional issue is rubbing you the wrong way today, STACEY. Your tendency is to want to escape. Try to do so in a healthy manner. Go out and see a movie or read a book. Don't fall prey to the temptation to indulge in large amounts of drugs and alcohol. This will only push the problems away temporarily. When they resurface again, they may be even harder to handle.
yea... i definitely did the exact opposite. a bottle of bacardi and 2 coolers - i'm still thinking about him. i don't know what to do, i've tried everything. i'm starting to get scared.
party at kevin's tonight. saw everyone, argued with some bitchy girls, good times. i love summer.
i just want to forget you... |
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